Dunder Prise
by Commander Fiction
Summary: The enterprise crew set in place in the "Office" environment. Jim Kirk, the office manager believes that his employees need a discussion about 'professionalism', but they beg to differ. Enjoy! Rated T because I'm paranoid. Live Long and Prosper.


A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"For the love of all Star Trek, because Star Trek is awesome and will always have a special place in every Trekkies' heart."_

Dunder Prise

Jim Kirk slaps on his usual grin as he breathes in the fresh scent of the office building, giving a charming wink to the camera crew before pushing through the final doors to the main office room which bustles with life of the boring tasks of the everyday office workers.

"Nyota!" He greets the receptionist cheerfully with his smile that serves to make the pretty lady frown, "Uhura." She corrects firmly as she slides in her ear piece and swiftly brushes back a strand of rebellious brown hair.

Jim pauses, smile fading, "But Uhura is not as attractive."

Uhura gives him a disgusted eye roll and turns back to her computer, ignoring those gleaming blue eyes of his.

"I'm sorry, Uhura," Jim begins, taking a glance at the camera then back at her, "let's be professional here, c'mon can't we at least do that people?"

"Kirk, you're the only one being unprofessional." Spock points out as he looks up from his sales chart, Jim just snorts and crosses his arms incredulously.

"No Spock, you calling me 'unprofessional' is being unprofessional on your part." Jim counters and gives a chuckle.

Spock just raises an eye brow at the camera before going back to his work.

"That's right people; we are going to be professional today!" Jim announces arms raising high above his head to put more emphasis on his words.

"And how exactly are we gonna do that Jim?" Leonard McCoy questions in his normal gruff monotone southern charm that always makes the blond's smile widen, "That's a good question Bones." Jim replies, slapping the man on the shoulder before brushing past him to the front of the room.

"Alright everybody listen up." Jim calls out, scanning over the many eyes that fall upon him, but one of his workers is slumped over in sleep, "Umm, Sulu, please wake Chekov."

Sulu nods and turns to the office temp, prodding him sharply.

"Huh?" Chekov murmurs as he lifts his head from the crook of his arm, drool running down his chin in a childish fashion.

"C'mon, work just got started." Jim grumbles, giving a glare to all his 'supposed' insubordinates.

"Actually Jim, you arrived an hour late." Uhura corrects, glancing up from her desk, the blond just scoffs, "Seventy-six minutes forty-two seconds to be exact." Spock adds and Jim stares at him sharply, willing the vulcan to shut up for once.

"Okay-okay. Is everybody here?" Jim asks, glancing about the room.

"Well Leonard just left." Uhura points out and Jim just shrugs, "Bones is with Human Resources. No fun."

"But besides Bones, is anyone else gone?" Jim says and once again gazes about, "Raise your hand if you're not here." Jim demands and once he sees no hands have been raised he gives a satisfied nod.

Spock's about to argue about the logic of Jim's statement but both Sulu and Chekov shake their heads at him so instead he shoots a fabulous eyebrow at the camera crew.

"Alright everybody I'm only gonna say this once. We're having a conference meeting in…" He trails off, searching for the watch that is usually located on his wrist, but is absent. "Shit." He breathes.

"What?" The others ask as Jim begins to pat down his pockets.

"Damn it. Has anyone seen my watch?"

"Uhh no Jim." Uhura replies as everyone remains silent.

The manager growls and flexes his fingers, "Okay, what time is it?"

Uhura spins around in her chair to check the time but the clock is missing. She smiles, deciding to go along with whoever preformed the prank.

"It appears Jim that time doesn't exist anymore." Uhura says, shaking her head.

Jim's face screws over in confusion, mouth agape, "That's not how it works. C'mon someone, please, what's the time?"

Everyone remains absolutely silent and the manager's face falls into a scornful frown, "Spock, what's the time?"

"Kirk, I cannot tell the time without a clock for reference."

"Can't you just make an estimate?" Jim argues but the vulcan shakes his head, "An estimate would be quite crude."

"Damn it. Fine, meeting in ten minutes."

"Wait, how are supposed to know when to come to the meeting without time?" Chekov questions, leaning back in his chair.

"Keep a silent count in your head." Jim counters and begins to head for his office.

"Jim wait." Sulu calls out and the blond spins around, "Yes Sulu?" Jim asks with a sigh, "What if you can't count that high?"

Jim's face turns into a scowl once more and he gives a glare to the camera then back at Sulu, "Well have someone count for you then."

* * *

"Well I just assumed that everyone learned how to count in school…" Jim begins, twirling a pen between his fingers as he answers the interviewer's question, "But apparently not."

The blond then sighs, leaning back in his chair, "That could be offensive to some people…The U.S. as a nation can't just assume that everyone has gone to school. It's not fair and it's not right. And Sulu not knowing how to count is a very good example of that, and I believe people need to be more aware of how offensive some things can come across."

Jim pauses, scratching his forehead in thought, "And all of this could've been avoided if the clocks were still in the office…whatever happened to them, I guess, we'll never know."

* * *

Leonard smiles brightly and chuckles, "Yes I took the clocks and no, I don't regret it."

The southerner then shifts slightly in his desk chair, drumming his fingers against the surface, "I like to believe that it does him some good, gets his brain going for the morning."

The HR then flashes a shiny watch on his wrist, "Its Jim's."

* * *

"Alright everybody, conference room!" Jim shouts out as he strolls out of his office and all eyes fall upon him.

"It's only been seven minutes." Sulu counters, "Ah-ha I knew you could count." Jim laughs, pointing a finger at the salesman accusingly.

"That's beside the point Jim, we still have three minutes." Uhura complains, crossing her arms.

"Well I don't care, time for our meeting." Jim replies and marches into the conference room, waiting for everybody else to pile in.

Everybody groans and gathers to their feet, shuffling into the claustrophobic space. Jim waits impatiently in the front, rubbing his hands together in anxious anticipation. Slowly everybody takes a seat, Chekov and Sulu sitting side by side, while Uhura takes a back seat, which Spock decides to take the front seat along with Scotty.

"Scotty, what are you doing here?" Jim asks suddenly, staring at the warehouse worker suspiciously, "Well I heard that there's a meetin' so I decided to come." Scotty replies.

The blond scoffs, "Scotty, you work with the warehouse. Shouldn't you…I don't know, be packing boxes or something of lesser importance?"

"Kirk, I believe that our topic today is 'professionalism', you currently are showing none by insulting a company employee." Spock backfires, earning the manager's narrowed gaze on his large forehead.

"You're right Spock, here, lemme put this more professionally." Jim says then turns back to Scotty, "Look, Mister Scott, I really do appreciate that you came, and you know what? If you'd like, you can stay."

"Why thank you Jim, I think I ought to." Scotty responds with a grin.

"Hey, am I missing something here?" Leonard suddenly peers through the doorway, "Go away Bones! You're not welcome here!"

"Damn it Jim, I'm an HR not the plague." McCoy growls and enters the room despite Jim's protests.

"Fine, take a seat. Just be quiet."

Once Bones is seated, Jim sighs and hushes everyone, glancing over every single person. The normal calmness washes over him. It's just another day in the office.

"Alright. So today, we're going to talk about 'professionalism' and when it's appropriate and when it's not." Jim announces.

"Jim, professionalism is always needed; there are not certain times or situations in the office when it's not." Bones counters, slouching in his chair, somehow managing to prop his feet up on Spock's chair, "I told you Bones to be quiet, this is not quiet." Jim protests, folding his arms over his chest.

"Jim, I just think that I would be much more qualified to be running this meeting."

The manager glares at him, "So you want to bore everyone with your fancy vocabulary and kill them with your horribly dull speech about professionalism? Is that what you want? Because if you do, you're gonna have an audience of dead people."

"Kirk, I believe people cannot die from someone giving a speech, no matter how dull the speech is." Spock points out, making McCoy give a loud huff.

"I think you're missing the point Spock. People would die of starvation, because his dull speech would be that long."

"People would die of dehydration first." Leonard corrects, "Shut up Bones, nobody asked for your opinion." Jim snaps and then takes a couple steps back.

"Alright, now please can we continue?" Jim asks and everyone nods their heads, all complaining silently in their minds.

"Okay…Professionalism…"


End file.
